Dual....:-)
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
