I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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