I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
