Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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