In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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