Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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