very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Drunk is not a location!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
