were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
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I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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