I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
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But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
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Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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