Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
