Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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