Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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