I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
