you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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