Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
