In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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