so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
