We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
