I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
it glows. i had to have it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
