I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
