shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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