it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
