How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
