The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
