can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
