Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think a kid would responsible me up
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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