how can u be prego again
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
