What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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