you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
