We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
