last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
