It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
