It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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