"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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