i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
