Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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