Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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