If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar