There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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