nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.