so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
