At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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