He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What a dumb baby whore.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
