Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
