the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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