I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
