My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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