We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
