JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
