you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
