so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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