if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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