So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
