i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
