I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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