Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we're making bets on your personal life
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
