I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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