my soul wont recognize me after tonight
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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