her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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