pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
