She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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