Screwed.edu
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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