I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
