I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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