She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
