his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
