Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
