Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
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So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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