sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
